Update...

I havent been on my site for quite some time so I figured now was as good a time as any for my update.  For those of you that have no idea what has gone on then follow the other 20 some pages and you will understand a little more in detail.  I would hope anyways.

There has been plenty of things that have happened and I guess that I would have to update since the last update before I do the current, but I have to see where I left off.  Those of you reading this that are parents let me first off drop this to you.  Dont believe everything that you hear.  If you read things from people and you seem to think that what you hear is the truth then I am here to tell you that is NOT the case.  Most parents can not fathom the possibility that someone is falsely accused of things, but I am here to tell you no matter WHAT threats I happen to receive that the truth is...you DONT have to be an abuser or neglecter to be accused of one.  I have some choice people that seem to think that if they continue to tell people that I am in denial and such that other people will be there to listen to them and think that they are the honest ones in this whole thing.  The difference is WHAT DO THEY HAVE?  The fact that they state that they were there??  Or the fact that they continue to mention that there is a thing on the net that states the situation (as they made it out to be..)!?  Well there is something far better then word of mouth or something on the net that was supposedly the situation. There stuff was ALL based on hearsay and the entire thing on the net does not state that BEYOND EVERY REASONABLE DOUBT that ALL things were truth.  THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE **AS PEOPLE SEEM TO FAIL TO UNDERSTAND** IS.....I HAVE THE PROOF.  No need to sit here and mention that I think that I can prove it cuz in the long run I CAN. 

Let me see..this has been a long battle and even now I still can not get a break..or even get a bit of my OWN life.  Still have people trying to control things..still have people trying to make me out to be this absolutely HORRIBLE person or mother.  I think it is high time that people begin to realize their own faults in the entire predicament and I hope that ONE day they can look at theirselves and say "Da*n I had ALOT to do with this woman's entire future and wow do I feel guilty."  Probably a cold day in hell for that but hell there is always a possibility. Age does sometime do things to people. 

Anyway as you read these current sections they will possibly voice some of the things I have in other pages, but I wanted to make sure that those of you that were UNAWARE of this page can grasp the entire situation at a whole.  I have no reason to deny or make excuses *as some people want to state that I do* for the situation considering it is pretty much over (as some like to state to me quite frequently.)!!!  Well this whole thing is FAR from over.  There is a saying that states..."you may have won the battle, but you wont win the war!" And I am a total true believer of that.  So say as you feel you must.

Back in 2002 I lost my kids...I went through a huge battle with the state of Virginia and the Newport News Department of Social Services.  There were tons of accusations in the end, but in the beginning it was more so ONE thing and they didnt have the proof or the leverage to pull them in.  There was this girl (who in the long run was a drug addict and what not later...big major crackhead) that happened to finish the entire thing off.  Mind you this girl had CPS contacted on her, but as a person who has lived this entire nightmare this girl received no assistance and she also received no form of removal.  To this day she has her son and had a new baby also.  Now there is our justice system.  Come on now!!! Reality check..was I on drugs?  Hell no..I have not touched drugs in my entire life other then an occasional drink and used to smoke did I ever happen to pick up on drugs.  They took my kids into the system. Put a list of stuff to do down.  No matter WHAT I did they didnt care..they would screw me in the long run (as I wish I would have known at that time..whereas I didnt). 

So what happened in the long run..as a result of the drug addict...people sticking their noses in where it didnt belong....vendetta's and other stupid miscellanious things...I happened to first lose my boys.  Do you know how hard it is to tell a 6 year old that he is not ever going to see his biological mother EVER again?  No..it is one of the hardest things I have had to ever do in my entire life.  Letting go was another hard thing because as a mother with no rights I dont have much of a choice there.  So I lost my boys. I can only imagine how big they are..what they look like..if they are going through puberty..etc etc.  I mean there are many things that I wonder.  Recently I had to go through some other stuff with my girls and currently I can say that I lost my youngest one..and then the stuff was slapped in my face from ONE of the most immature people on the face of the earth.  As soon as I figure out a way to cut the names out to protect privacy of all people (why I bother for that is beyond me) I will post that on here.  Right now I wanted to state that I have managed to lose my boys and then my youngest daughter and now have a court date with the oldest daughter.  I have people telling me as well that the child I am carrying now is in possible danger of the system because people who have personal issues with someone can not let things go.  GROW UP!!!!!! Lord knows that is your first step. 

I will update this a little further later when it is not late at night and when I am not having other pains or discomforts.  Then I will get into the most recent stuff that came to my girls..and what I am going through right now.